If You Need Me I’ll Be In My Trailer: Choices Within Our Roles COSP
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ISSUE 43
February 2023
A publication of the College of Stoic Philosophers
THE STOIC PHILOSOPHER
CHOICES WITHIN OUR ROLES
IF YOU NEED ME I’LL BE
IN MY TRAILER
BY AYDYN NEIFER, FCSP
“Remember that thou art an actor in a play,
of such a kind as the teacher (author) may
choose; if short, of a short one; if long, of a
long one: if he wishes you to act the part of a
poor man, see that you act the part
naturally; if the part of a lame man, of a
magistrate, of a private person, (do the
same). For this is your duty, to act well the
part that is given to you; but to select the
part, belongs to another.” (Epictetus, 2004,
p.7)
There are many Stoic quotes and insights
that both inspire me and make me stroke
my beard and go hmmm… I see… But
Epictetus’s insight about how we are all
actors in a play and we all have our own
roles to act out really struck a chord with
me when I first read it. This one stood out
because in my career I’ve periodically heard
people speak about wearing “multiple”
hats, or being double hatted, or triple
hatted. The context of this being that they
have many different jobs to do seemingly
simultaneously. Jobs, or roles that they
have to do, and really have no say in the
matter. Jobs within jobs, tasks within tasks,
jobs within tasks, tasks within jobs, and
roles within roles (whew!) Over the years of
my career, I’ve experienced the same thing
and understand the mulitroles that we all
have to play.
Some roles we seek out, and other roles are
literally thrown at us, like a dirty costume
off the rack, and told “to put this on” as
we’re being pushed out onto the stage.
Much like most Prokoptons, I’m sure, my
sought-out role of Stoic Philosopher is
pretty typical. I grew up in a small town,
dabbled in different religions here and
there, wasn’t a fan of those
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performances
and eventually found my way to Stoicism.
Much like the Avengers series of movies, I
keep wanting to see more. I took graphic
design in college, in Kingston, Ontario
Canada. It was a really good course to
which I learned a lot about, well, graphic
design obviously, but also fine art and
photography. I remember on one occasion
when two friends and I were in the back of a
cab heading somewhere, the driver asked
what we were studying, my friends said
engineering, and I said graphic design. The
driver said “Oh alright! At least the two of
you will have jobs in your field when you
graduate.”
examples are: bedmaker, boot polisher,
weapon cleaner, janitor, pack mule,
rifleman, machine gunner, ammo
runner, class clown, comms guy, (they
carry those million-pound radios on
their backs because compact
technology is lost on the army. Refer
back to the pack mule role) mortarman,
anti-tank gunner (those are really fun!)
light armoured vehicle driver, light
armoured vehicle gunner. There are
many more roles I could list, but then I
would fill up my minimum four to five
page allotment on this essay with just
that. So, moving on.
Well, that cab driver was right. I worked a
few jobs here and there not in my field of
study. So, at the tender young age of 30, I
applied for and got hired into the Canadian
Army. Into the infantry of all things. Yes, the
infantry was my first choice. I know that
anyone reading this, that is or was in the
military is probably saying “Really? The
Infantry? Why?” They also probably know
that there are many roles to play in the
military, some we volunteer for and some
we are volunteered for. Some personal
Stoicism a few years ago, he
Aydyn Neifer currently lives in
Ontario Canada, is a father of
three, grandfather of two and a
husband of one. A
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photographer
in the army, Aydyn enjoys a
healthy diet of dad jokes and dark
humor. After discovering
completed the SES course and
most recently, the Marcus
Aurelius Program.
ISSUE 43 //February 2023
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ISSUE 43
Eventually I decided that I had enough of
playing the infantry role, as fun as it was
and as great as the people were, it was
time for me to act on a new stage in front
of a different audience, that is if the
cosmos would allow me to. So, I set my
sights on a new acting gig, a new
performance still within the military. I
wanted to play the role of army
photographer. Not only did I want to act,
but I wanted to do it with a camera!
Thankfully the cosmos agreed. Yes, you
should do that, after all, you have a
diploma in graphic design… Cha-ching!!
Take that cab driver from eleven years
ago! Sorry, that’s very un-stoic of me,
but to be fair at this point in my journey I
was still a few years away from
discovering Stoicism.
More roles opened up after becoming an
army photographer or an Imagery
Technician as is our official title. To list
some roles - Photographer,
videographer, graphic designer (yes!).
I’ve even flown Open Skies missions over
various countries, talk about a different
type of photography. What’s Open Skies?
Just google open skies treaty. Ok, so
what’s the point of this page and a half
resume? And what’s the ethical part of
all of this? You’ve done a bunch of stuff
but so what? I promise I’m working up to
it, it’s like speeding down the runway
before wheels up.
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“For this is your duty, to act well the part
that is given to you; but to select the
part, belongs to another.” (2004, p.7)
So, pursuing the role of an infantry
soldier, and then an Imagery
Technician was up to me, but selection
for those roles were not up to me. The
cosmos viewed my auditions and said
Yes! You’re hired! Fill your boots! Good
luck with the infantry, your knees will
hate you! But also too, all of the side
roles were also not up to me either.
Within the role of
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infantry soldier, it
wasn’t up to me to be a janitor, it
wasn’t up to me to drive armoured
vehicles, and it wasn’t up to me to act
out all of the other roles that came
along under the role of infantry soldier.
Except for class clown, that was a total
pursuit.
Within the role of Image Tech there are
many genres of photography that we
have to specialize in (notice how I said,
“have to”?): portrait photographer,
sports photographer, investigation
photographer, macro photographer,
group portrait photographer,
photojournalist, night photography,
photography from a fast moving
helicopter, photography hanging off
the side of something. All genres that I
need to know to do my duty, and where
or when I take centre stage to perform
these roles are certainly not up to me.
Can We Choose Our Roles?
When we enter a job or a career most of
us would have applied for that position
and have gone through a hiring or
screening process. It was our assent that
that job or career is a preferred
indifferent, which generates desire and
then an impulse to act on applying for
that role. So we can choose to pursue an
acting gig, however according to
Epictetus, whether or not we actually get
to act on that stage is up to providence.
Much like the Stoic analogy of firing an
arrow at a target, once that arrow leaves
our fingertips, whether or not that arrow
makes a bullseye, or even hits the target
at all, isn’t within our control. If we refer
back to a portion of Epictetus’s quote:
We all know the cart of destiny analogy:
Along a road a dog is tied to a cart
against its will. The cart is rolling along
the road and the dog has two choices, it
can cry and yelp, try to pull against the
cart, or be dragged by the cart. The
other option is that the dog can happily
trot alongside the cart, take in the
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scenery, and love life. Either way, the
dog is going along with the cart. As
practicing Stoics it’s not the “what”
that is up to us, but the “how”. How do I
want to play this role? What are my
value judgments? Do I want to
complain about the fact that I need to
hang off the side of something to take a
photo? Or do I want to love it? The
choice is ours.
Military Ranks
“If you have been placed in a position above
others, are you automatically going to
behave like a despot? Remember who you
are and whom you govern.” (Epictetus,
2008, p. 59)
After a few years working as an Imagery
Technician, I was posted to an Air Force
Wing. In the same building where I worked
was the Imagery Technician School where
they train all of the Canadian Military
photographers and videographers and
where I went to school. One day after a
year and a half at the Air Force Wing, I
came into work after a week of being on
leave. As soon as I got through the door,
my Master Corporal told me that there was
a promotion happening in 30 minutes and
to get my camera ready to cover the event.
So, I did. I showed up to the promotion
event, my name was called out and my
Master Corporal took my camera and
photographed my promotion. I went up a
rank, and then I was told that I was
heading down the hall to the school to
teach.
Well, anxiety levels were very high when I
reported to the school that day, which
already had a course going on so there
was very little time to prepare for the class
I was going to teach, which was technical
engineering photography. I hadn’t
touched that type of photography since I
was a student at the school many years
before. So yeah, anxiety levels were off the
charts. Was this teaching role up to me?
No, it wasn’t. If anything, I was a bit
blindsided by it, however in hindsight (or
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course) it was one of the best things that
could have happened, the few years at the
school that followed taught me valuable
lessons.
Thrust into a new role that was way, way…
way outside of my comfort zone produced
many crossroads. One valuable lesson and
a road I gladly travel down was the value
that each student brought to the table in
teaching me things outside of the realm of
a military photography school. It became
second nature to me that I was just as
much a student as they were.
ISSUE 42 //January 2023
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ISSUE 43
I especially learned about second
guessing my impressions about events,
considering it was in this area of my life
that I began practicing Stoicism. What
events you might ask? Things that are
conducive when one is an instructor,
things like disciplinary issues, students
not understanding the material, things
like that. Before issues like that would
generally piss me off because it was my
value judgments that people should act
a certain way, the way I thought they
should act. As we all know, this is not the
case, and it is not they who need to
change, it’s my value judgments about
those things. Hey if it works for a Roman
Emperor, I’m pretty certain it would
work for me as well.
Shit happens, we all know this. For
example, when you’ve explained to a
student how to take a particular type of
photograph with a specific technique
that is only conducive to that type of
photography, and despite showing them
many times how to do it, yet they still
cannot get it, what is one to do? Take it
personally? Start questioning my
abilities as an instructor? Never mind
that the rest of the class gets it. Do I tear
a strip off them and yell? I could, sure.
But there’s no value in that. There is
value however in figuring out an
alternative way of showing the
techniques. Everyone learns and
processes information differently, right?
Patience and listening to those under
you. A common complaint at the school
was that the students were stuck in a
creative box, meaning there’s no room
for creativity. This is a complaint I heard
even when I was a student at the school,
and that impression that the student
expressed continued when I was
instructing, that there’s no creative
freedom in military photography. My
reply to that was, well what about
language? I would get confused looks.
You
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can understand what I am saying
right now, right? Confused heads bob up
and down in agreement that they can
understand me. We learn the hard rules
of grammar, and vocabulary, yet when
we do, we can express ourselves verbally
February 2023
on an infinite level can we not?
So, are you confined by the rules of
language or completely free? Because
without these hard and fast language
rules, no one would be able to
understand you. The complaints would
cease after that explanation. An
alternative explanation here was offered
instead of telling them, you’re doing it
this way because I said so, and that’s an
order. The tyranny of a statement like
that doesn’t offer someone the
opportunity for personal growth, nor
does it offer an inspiration to continue a
career with us. These privates and
corporals are the future of our trade,
right? As a side bar, there is infinite
creative expression in military
photography, after you learn the hard
and fast rules first of course.
At each step throughout our day we
have the opportunity to express Stoic
virtue to the external world, wisdom,
courage, temperance, and justice. A
position of higher rank doesn’t give
someone a get out of jail card to instead
express foolishness, injustice, cowardice,
and intemperance. If anything, a person
in a higher position might recognize that
they can focus on the four virtues even
more so. I think doing so would teach
others this as well.
This is the key lesson that I learned while
teaching at the school and practicing
Stoicism (thank you SES course). With
higher rank comes more responsibility to
those under you, more so than those
above you. If anything, it’s an obligation.
Every person that you interact with is an
opportunity to not only develop your
character, but to show others that they
can too. To
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use an old cliche, to pass the
flame forward, because without people
there’s no military, without people
there’s really nothing.
“[44] So it is in life: take a governorship. ‘I
take it and, when I take it, I show how a
real philosopher acts.’ [45] Take off your
senator’s robe and put on beggar’s rags –
and let’s have a look at you then. ‘Well, so
what? I still have the gift of a fine voice to
show off.’ [46] What role do you appear in
now? As a witness called by God. [47] ‘Step
forward, you, and bear witness for me; you
earned the right to represent me as a
witness. Is anything good or bad that is
independent of your will? Do I do any man
harm? Have I put each man’s advantage
under the control of anyone except
himself?’ What witness do you bear God?”
(Epictetus, 2008, p. 98)
When it’s all said and done there comes a
time when we have to exit the stage
regardless of rank or prestige, perhaps to
take on a new role, or to leave the acting
biz altogether. Stoicism has also taught
me to leave the stage gracefully and have
someone else have their show. I am not a
sage, and I am far from perfect, however in
the times that I do catch myself and I’m
able to express Stoic virtue onto someone
else, I would like to think that hopefully
some of that rubs off onto the next actor
and they too act with virtue, whether they
realize it or not.
References
Epictetus (2004) Enchiridion. Translated
by George Long. New York: Dover
Publications
Epictetus (2008), Discourses and Selected
Writings Penguin Classics, Translated by
Robert Dobbin. New York: Penguin Group
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