Stoic Hypomnemata
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1. Awake at Ungodly Hours
My body is half-dead. My muscles shut down so I don’t live out my dreams. My brain
gets ready for cleansing. Deep asleep, I hear a siren far away. I’m not sure it’s real. Perhaps
I’m dreaming. The alarming noise gets closer and louder. Now it’s very loud. I struggle to
open my eyes and stop my nightmare. My body is paralyzed. Then she slaps my butt.
Next month we’ll have our 10th anniversary. We don’t need many words at this point, a
slap in the butt from my wife carries a ton of meaning, much like a sayable. The slap
means it’s my turn, it also means the siren is not a nightmare but very, very real. It’s my twoyear-old daughter! And she feels lonely.
I’m up, I mutter. But my legs don’t want to move, I have to drag them. I force my body to
leave that sweet paralysis while lamenting each step I take.
Amalia calms down quickly. She only needs to know I’m there. She grabs my finger and
makes sure I don’t leave. She’s fine now. I’m awake now. With nothing to do, I start thinking
about sleep. It’s been my obsession for the past 2 years. I read extensively about sleep
because I want to perform at a high level during the day. I’m imagining my daughter’s brain
cleansing itself from bad toxins. My wife’s brain is cleansing out beautifully as well. My
four-year-old son’s mood is been regulated and all of them will feel like a fresh piece of
lettuce in the morning. I probably won’t enjoy that freshness. It will take some time before I
can fall back asleep if I do at all.
Fully awake now I think about Enchiridion 25. Something like the host of a party may
sell tickets for flattery and attention. Epictetus’ point I think is that everything costs
something. Perhaps waking up at this ungodly hours is the price I have to pay for having
healthy kids. It may be
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the price I pay so my wife can have a good day and carries on her
mission. It’s the price I pay so my daughter doesn’t feel alone. It’s the price I pay for the
privilege of raising a family.
My sister would pay thousands of dollars for the opportunity to wake up at ungodly
hours and attend to her own cranky baby. I ordered Amalia on storkbabies.com and got her,
but my sister wasn't that lucky. Her order was rejected by Fate with a note that said not now.
Seeing my situation from her perspective, I realize how lucky I am to have gotten my order.
I now WANT to pay this price. For the first time (since the siren incident), I smile. Then
remember Epictetus olympic pep-talk.
“And whatever you encounter that is painful or pleasant or popular or unpopular, keep in mind
that now is the contest, and here right now are the Olympic games, and that postponement is no
longer an option, and that your progress is saved or ruined by a single day and a single
action.”(Enchiridion 51)
Right now, at this ungodly hour, it’s time to prove I not only know my theory - it’s time
to act like a Stoic.
2. Thirst for Knowledge or Thirst for Buying?
As a teenager, I would have cringed at the thought of having to read a book.
Today, I love books more than most things. At any given time, there might be 3 or 4
1
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on my desk. I have plenty of books I haven't read yet. Nevertheless, I often want to
buy more. My excuse is that to become a better Stoic; I need to know more. It's a false
judgment. The truth is: I buy a book in part because of how buying feels. Since I have
formed a habit of assenting to the impression that I need new books, I no longer take
time to examine the impression. I skip the assent stage because my belief (that books
are good and I "need" them) supports the irrational impulse to buy. Often when I
realize I have assented to a false impression, I'm already in the middle of buying. It's
hard to stop then. My behavior reminds me of Chrysippus' running metaphor.
“If our judgment is clouded by passion, however, the rational faculty is weakened and a
reasonable response is more difficult. We do things and say things that can often be
regrettable. On this subject, Chrysippus compared a man who was walking with one who was
running down a hill. The walking man could check himself at any moment and stop. The
man running down the hill was like a man in the throws of passion, and it was only with
great difficulty that such a man could check himself and come to a halt.” 1
I don't learn when I buy a book. I learn when I spend time with single ideas. At
some point, I should leave my books behind and put into practice what I learned.
Musonius said: "Suppose there are two musicians. One understands musical theory and
talks about it most fluently, but is not able to sing or to play the cithara or lyre. The other is
ignorant of theory, but plays the cithara and lyre well and can sing. Which one would you
want as a performer? Which one would you want as music teacher for a child ignorant of
music?" He answered, "The one who is able to perform." 2
The following passages inspired
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this hypomnemata:
“Forget your thirst for books; so that when your end comes you may not murmur, but meet it
with a good grace and with unfeigned gratitude in your heart to the gods.”3
“You must stay with a limited number of writers and be fed by them if you mean to derive
anything that will dwell reliably with you. One who is everywhere is nowhere. 4“
1 Wiegardt, E. (2004). Path of the Sage [Kindle Paperwhite version]. Retrieved from
amazon.com
2 Rufus, Musonius, Cynthia Ann Kent King, and William Braxton Irvine. In Musonius
Rufus: Lectures & Sayings, 34. United States: Createspace, 2011.
3 Aurelius, Marcus, and Maxwell Staniforth. “Book Two.” In Meditations, 45–46.
Harmondsworth, England: Penguin Books, 1964.
4 Séneca Lucio Anneo, Margaret Graver, and A. A. Long. “Letter 2.” Essay. In Letters on
Ethics: to Lucilius, 26–26. Chicago, IL: The University of Chicago Press, 2015.
2
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3. I am Four Personae
This hypomnemata was inspired by Cicero's On Duties 1.107-115
Cicero makes reference to four "personae," roles or morally relevant descriptions. They are the
universal; the individual; the accidental or situational; and the self-chosen.
I pause to see my roles.
I listen to my soul.
I study Fate at work.
I know what I control.
I walk and notice All.
I’m made of rhythmic bones.
I hug uncertainty.
I nudge the sage in me.
I see and miss Nature.
I teach “right” behavior.
I disagree with Fate.
I see an amateur.
I count my shy footprints.
I have duty in me.
I miss color in life.
I find it in what’s mine.
I fill my lungs with air.
I exhale tuneful airs.
I see my kids down sick.
I recall they were fit.
I’m one with all the things.
I see purpose in being.
I fill joy when I wish.
I’m cautious not to miss.
I’m looking from above.
I am myself the whole.
I am one point in time.
I’m destined to evolve.
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4. True Vocation
My wife has a friend who volunteers to raise other women's babies when
they can't (or don't want to) keep them. This woman has four kids herself, and
five months ago, she welcomed a foreign newborn to the gang. Why go
through all that? Why not chase preferred indifferents instead?
We are All, the Whole, the Cosmos. It sure looks like we are separate
entities, but after connecting the dots, it is possible to see how everything
contributes to a bigger organism. Delving further into Stoic physics makes it
possible to assimilate the interaction between All - each body playing its
individual role, each body fulfilling a purpose. And that purpose is inevitably
connected to the rest of the body. The evolution of each body must then be
analogous to the evolution of the Whole.
We can choose to prioritize the health of the Whole and work for the
cosmopolis. Or we can decide to chase preferred indifferents that benefit us
only. Yet when we Stoics decide to prioritize All, we choose to maximize the
impact of our actions. We do so because we believe with Heraclitus that we
are all One. Choosing to extend one's oikeiōsis to include the Whole is
challenging. Nonetheless, logic validates this as right action.
My wife's friend is doing a fantastic job, consciously, or intuitively. She is a
better cosmopolitan than me, even though she may have never heard of
Stoicism. I'm not feeling bad about it. Knowing people like her inspires me to
make an equal contribution. It may be years before I have the maturity to
accomplish a similar feat. But I'm in no rush; I'm awake now. It’s great to be
awake.
5. Angry at the Wagon of Fate
The other day I went on a bike tour with my kids to the forest. We recently
bought a bike with a wagon that my kids love; they sing and laugh while I
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pedal them around. I am not much of an explorer (not with kids anyway) and
always stick to the trails I know. However, the trail that leads home was
blocked due to construction. So I decided to take a new trail I believed could
get us home. My kids were hungry, and I felt rushed to get home. Then a flat
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tire.
I didn’t want that challenge. After about an hour of struggling to fix the
tire, I led us to the main street and managed to get us home. However, that
extra hour is one I will not easily forget. I got angry when my kids asked me
what I was going to do about it. As I tried to solve the problem, my oldest son
(4 years old) kept asking why?“Why a flat tire? Why don’t you know how to
fix it? Why can we not eat now? Why! Why! Why!
I was not a Stoic. But I observed myself not being a Stoic - as if watching
myself on a T.V. show - and still didn’t have the guts, willpower, or
experience to assent to the truth. The truth is that my situation was only an
inconvenient incident and nothing evil. Once I got home, I couldn’t believe I
acted unStoic. To counter my irrational actions, I came up with a plan.
“Initiation is more than the reception of doctrines, it is at root a personal
experience leading to an inner change.” 5
I will see the events in the forest as my initiation. My forest experience can
serve as a revelation or discovery, an event I can be grateful for. Having failed
caused me to assent to more adequate impressions the entire week.
“Only the philosopher grasps the ultimate idea-realities and is thereby ‘alone
[among men] truly perfect’. The sight of the idea-realities forms the ‘highest form of
initiation’. This state is described as eudaimonia and is further characterized as
‘standing above human concerns’ and as ‘being travel-companion of a god’ and
‘drawing close to the divine’.” 6
Noticing my failure was the beginning of making a positive change. I am
counting this event as my initiation because it was a form of awakening. I’m
on the path to continue aiming toward right action and gladly accept, next
time, my Fate and the will of Universal Nature.
5 Jedan, C.
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(2012). Initiation Chapter 9. In Stoic Virtues Chrysippus and the Religious
Character of Stoic Ethics (p. 109). London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.
6 Jedan, C. (2012). Chapter 10 Virtue and Happiness. In Stoic Virtues Chrysippus and the
Religious Character of Stoic Ethics (p. 110). London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.
5
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6. Clean Streets Matter and Don't Matter
There's a narrow bridge two blocks from my house that pedestrians and
drivers use as a shortcut. I use it to get home. One day, I noticed an old lady
heaping up fallen leaves by the bridge. I kept seeing her, always busy at work
with her rake. Another day, I was crossing the bridge and caught her without
her rake. The street by the bridge was perfectly clean, and I wondered what
she was up to. I slowed down to a walking pace and watched through my
rearview mirror, intrigued. It turned out, the street was not perfectly clean;
three or four leaves dared touch the floor.
"Man's heart is restless unless he has found, and fulfilled, meaning and purpose in
life. It is characteristically human to find this meaning by reaching out for something
other than itself”7
Is the old lady heaping up leaves for the sake of the community so that we
can enjoy a clean bridge? Is that her purpose in life? I don't know. But as I
write this, I am looking at one of my favorite pictures of Earth taken by the
Cassini spacecraft. While Cassini studied the planet Saturn, scientists pointed
its camera towards Earth and snapped a picture (below) worth the cost of the
whole mission. Long ago, I decided this was my personal "view from above."
From this far, Earth is just a blue marble; there is no difference between an old
lady heaping up leaves and a young man earning a grammy award; no
difference between good and bad. It's all insignificant, almost pointless, but
somehow also magical and ethereal.
I don't have a conclusion for this hypomnemata. However, I’m learning to
observe without judgment. An old lady heap up leaves; a Stoic drives by and
observes her. Humans seem to be restless if they don't have a purpose. Earth
looks like a marble from Saturn. Our
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actions may be
insignificant or significant. Things are. Events are. Don't judge. Just watch.
Observe. Take it all in. Then look at Cassini’s picture one more time.
My View from Above
7 Frankl, V. E. (2014). The will to meaning: Foundations and applications of
logotherapy. New York: Plume.
6
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7. Bad luck is an opinion.
"No target is set up simply to be missed, and in the same way nothing that occurs
in the world is bad in its own nature as such." (Enchiridion 27)
"What is crushing these people is not the event but their opinion about
it." (Enchiridion 16)
1.
-When I was 14, my dad spent his evenings building a new house for us. I
remember hiding, so I didn't have to go with him. He knew I was hiding and
started reminding me in the morning that he'd be waiting for me at a set time.
My job was to hand him tools, hold things straight, clean the area, simple stuff
like that. I hated it.
-I learned discipline.
2.
-I sat at a café years ago and wrote in my journal something I noticed: That
cashier seems thrilled doing her job. When I went to pay for my drink, she
somehow made me feel special. I wrote in my journal: I want to enjoy life like
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