On Benefits Chapter 10

Interdum etiam ipse, qui iuvatur, vel fallendus est, ut habeat nec, a quo acceperit, sciat. Arcesilan aiunt amico pauperi et paupertatem suam dissimulanti, aegro autem et ne hoc quidem confitenti deesse sibi in sumptum ad necessarios usus, clam succurrendum iudicasse ; pulvino eius ignorantis sacculum subiecit, ut homo inutiliter verecundus, quod desiderabat, inveniret potius quam acciperet. " Quid ergo ? ille nesciet, a quo acceperit ? " Primum nesciat, si hoc ipsum beneficii pars est ; deinde multa alia faciam, multa tribuam, per quae intellegat et illius auctorem ; denique ille nesciet accepisse se, ego sciam me dedisse. " Parum est," inquis. Parum, si fenerare cogitas ; sed si dare, quo genere accipienti maxime profuturum erit, dabis. Contentus eris te teste ; alioqui non bene facere delectat sed videri bene fecisse. " Volo utique sciat." Debitorem quaeris. " Volo utique sciat." Quid ? si illi utilius est nescire, si honestius, si gratius, non in aliam partem abibis ? " Volo sciat." Ita tu hominem non servabis in tenebris ? Non nego, quotiens patitur res, respiciendum gaudium ex accipientis voluntate ; sin adiuvari illum et oportet et pudet, si, quod praestamus, offendit, nisi absconditur, beneficium in acta non mitto. Quidni ? ego illi non sum iudicaturus me dedisse, cum inter prima praecepta ac maxime necessaria sit, ne umquam exprobrem, immo ne admoneam quidem. Haec enim beneficii inter duos lex est : alter statim oblivisci debet dati, alter accepti numquam.

Sometimes even the person who is assisted must be deceived, in order that he may receive our bounty without knowing the source from whence it flows. It is said that Arcesilaus had a friend who was poor, but concealed his poverty; who was ill, yet tried to hide his disorder, and who had not money for the necessary expenses of existence. Without his knowledge, Arcesilaus placed a bag of money under his pillow, in order that this victim of false shame might rather seem to find what he wanted than to receive. "What," say you, "ought he not to know from whom he received it?" Yes; let him not know it at first, if it be essential to your kindness that he should not; afterwards I will do so much for him, and give him so much that he will perceive who was the giver of the former benefit; or, better still, let him not know that he has received any thing, provided I know that I have given it. "This," you say, "is to get too little return for one's goodness." True, if it be an investment of which you are thinking; but if a gift, it should be given in the way which will be of most service to the receiver. You should be satisfied with the approval of your own conscience; if not, you do not really delight in doing good, but in being seen to do good. "For all that," say you, "I wish him to know it." Is it a debtor that you seek for? "For all that, I wish him to know it." What! though it be more useful, more creditable, more pleasant for him not to know his benefactor, will you not consent to stand aside? "I wish him to know." So, then, you would not save a man's life in the dark? I do not deny that, whenever the matter admits of it, one ought to take into consideration the pleasure which we receive from the joy of the receiver of our kindness; but if he ought to have help and is ashamed to receive it--if what we bestow upon him pains him unless it be concealed--I forbear to make my benefits public. Why should I not refrain from hinting at my having given him anything, when the first and most essential rule is, never to reproach a man with what you have done for him, and not even to remind him of it. The rule for the giver and receiver of a benefit is, that the one should straightway forget that he has given, the other should never forget that he has received it.

Arcésilas avait, dit-on, un ami pauvre et qui dissimulait sa pauvreté. Celui-ci tomba malade, et n’avouait même pas qu’il lui manquait de quoi pourvoir aux dépenses les plus nécessaires. Arcésilas crut devoir à son insu venir à son aide, et sans qu’il s’en doutât il glissa sous son chevet un sac d’argent, afin qu’en dépit d’un scrupule déplacé son ami trouvât, plutôt qu’il ne le reçût, ce dont il avait besoin . « Eh quoi ! l’obligé ignorera de qui il aura reçu ? » Qu’il l’ignore avant tout, si cela même est une condition du bienfait. Plus tard bien d’autres procédés, d’autres bons offices lui feront deviner l’auteur du premier. Admets enfin qu’il ignore s’il a reçu, je saurai, moi, que j’ai donné. « C’est peu, » diras-tu. Oui, peu, si tu calcules en usurier ; mais si tu veux donner de la façon qui peut le mieux servir ton semblable, tu donneras, et le témoignage de ta conscience te suffira. Sinon, ce n’est pas de faire le bien qui te charme, mais de passer pour l’avoir fait. Tu veux qu’il le sache ! Tu cherches donc un débiteur. Tu veux à tout prix qu’il le sache ! Mais s’il lui est plus utile de l’ignorer, plus honorable, plus doux, ne changeras-tu pas de pensée ? Tu veux qu’il le sache ! À ce compte tu ne sauverais point un homme dans les ténèbres ? Je ne nie pas que, si la chose s’y prête, il ne soit permis de jouir des sentiments de l’obligé ; mais s’il a tout à la fois besoin et honte de mes secours, si mes dons l’effarouchent à moins que je ne les cache, je ne les mets point dans les journaux . Et en effet, je dois d’autant moins lui indiquer que j’en sois l’auteur, que l’un de nos premiers préceptes, des plus essentiels ; m’interdit tout reproche et jusqu’au moindre avertissement. En matière de bienfaits, la loi des deux parties commande à celle qui donne d’oublier à l’instant, à celle qui reçoit de se souvenir toujours. Rien ne déchire l’âme et ne l’humilie comme le fréquent rappel de ce qu’on a fait pour nous .