On Benefits Chapter 4

At plerique sunt, qui beneficia asperitate verborum et supercilio in odium adducunt eo sermone usi, ea superbia, ut impetrasse paeniteat. Aliae deinde post rem promissam secuntur morae ; nihil autem est acerbius, quam ubi quoque, quod impetrasti, rogandum est. Repraesentanda sunt beneficia, quae a quibusdam accipere difficilius est quam impetrare. Hic rogandus est, ut admoneat, ille, ut consummet ; sic unum munus per multorum manus teritur, ex quo gratiae minimum apud promittentem remanet, quia auctori detrahit, quisquis post illum rogandus est. Hoc itaque curae habebis, si grate aestimari, quae praestabis, voles, ut beneficia tua inlibata, ut integra ad eos, quibus promissa sunt, perveniant, sine ulla, quod aiunt, deductione. Nemo illa intercipiat, nemo detineat ; nemo in eo, quod daturus es, gratiam suam facere potest, ut non tuam minuat.

Many, however, there are who, by harsh words and contemptuous manner, make their very kindnesses odious, for by speaking and acting disdainfully they make us sorry that they have granted our requests. Various delays also take place after we have obtained a promise; and nothing is more heartbreaking than to be forced to beg for the very thing which you already have been promised. Benefits ought to be bestowed at once, but from some persons it is easier to obtain the promise of them than to get them. One man has to be asked to remind our benefactor of his purpose; another, to bring it into effect; and thus a single present is worn away in passing through many hands, until hardly any gratitude is left for the original promiser, since whoever we are forced to solicit after the giving of the promise receives some of the gratitude which we owe to the giver. Take care, therefore, if you wish your gifts to be esteemed, that they reach those to whom they are promised entire, and, as the saying is, without any deduction. Let no one intercept them or delay them; for no one can take any share of the gratitude due for your gifts without robbing you of it.

Mais que d’hommes par la dureté de leurs paroles et leurs airs sourcilleux font prendre en haine le bienfait, l’accompagnant d’un tel langage, d’une telle superbe qu’on se repent de l’avoir obtenu ! Puis, la promesse faite, surviennent d’autres retards ; et quel supplice, quand on a obtenu une chose, d’avoir à la demander encore ! Le bienfait doit se donner comptant ; or il est, chez certaines gens, plus difficile à réaliser qu’à promettre. Il faut prier, l’un de faire ressouvenir, et l’autre, d’effectuer. Ainsi passant par une foule de mains, le bienfait s’use ; et le principal auteur en perd presque tout le mérite, qui se partage entre tous ceux qu’il faut solliciter après lui. Tu auras donc grand soin, si tu veux qu'on apprécie dignement tes bons offices, qu’ils arrivent à qui a reçu ta promesse, dans toute leur fraîcheur, tout entiers et, comme on dit, sans aucun déchet. Que nul ne les intercepte, ne les retienne en route : personne ne peut, de ce que tu donnes, se faire un mérite qui ne diminue le tien.