On Benefits Chapter 22

Multi sunt, qui nec negare sciant, quod acceperunt, nec referre, qui nec tam boni sunt quam grati nec tam mali quam ingrati, segnes et tardi, lenta nomina, non mala. Hos ego non appellabo, sed commonefaciam et ad officium aliud agentes reducam. Qui statim mihi sic respondebunt : " Ignosce ; non mehercules scivi hoc te desiderare, alioqui ultro obtulissem ; rogo, ne me ingratum existimes ; memini, quid mihi praestiteris." Hos ego quare dubitem et sibi meliores et mihi facere ? Quemcumque potuero, peccare prohibebo ; multo magis amicum, et ne peccet et ne in me potissimum peccet. Alterum illi beneficium do, si illum ingratum esse non patior ; nec dure illi exprobrabo, quod praestiti, sed quam potuero mollissime. Ut potestatem referendae gratiae faciam, renovabo memoriam eius et petam beneficium ; ipse me intelleget repetere. Aliquando utar verbis durioribus, si emendari illum posse speravero ; nam deploratum propter hoc quoque non exagitabo, ne ex ingrato inimicum faciam. Quod si admonitionis quoque sugillationem ingratis remittimus, segniores ad reddenda beneficia faciemus ; quosdam vero sanabiles et qui fieri boni possint, si quid illos momorderit, perire patiemur admonitione sublata, qua et pater filium aliquando correxit et uxor maritum aberrantem ad se reduxit et amicus languentem amici fidem erexit.

There are many who cannot deny that they have received a benefit, yet cannot return it--men who are not good enough to be termed grateful, nor yet bad enough to be termed ungrateful; but who are dull and sluggish, backward debtors, though not defaulters. Such men as these I should not ask for repayment, but forcibly remind them of it, and, from a state of indifference, bring them back to their duty. They would at once reply, "Forgive me; I did not know, by Hercules, that you missed this, or I would have offered it of my own accord, I beg that you will not think me ungrateful; I remember your goodness to me." Why need I hesitate to make such men as these better to themselves and to me? I would prevent any one from doing wrong, if I were able; much more would I prevent a friend, both lest he should do wrong, and lest he should do wrong to me in particular. I bestow a second benefit upon him by not permitting him to be ungrateful; and I should not reproach him harshly with what I had done for him, but should speak as gently as I could. In order to afford him an opportunity of returning my kindness, I should refresh his remembrance of it, and ask for a benefit; he would understand that I was asking for repayment. Sometimes I would make use of somewhat severe language, if I had any hope that by it he might be amended; though I would not irritate a hopelessly ungrateful man, for fear that I might turn him into an enemy. If we spare the ungrateful even the affront of reminding them of their conduct, we shall render them' more backward in returning benefits; and although some might be cured of their evil ways, and be made into good men, if their consciences were stung by remorse, yet we shall allow them to perish for want of a word of warning, with which a father sometimes corrects his son, a wife brings back to herself an erring husband, or a man stimulates the wavering fidelity of his friend.

Beaucoup ne savent ni désavouer ce qu’ils ont reçu ni le rendre : ni assez bons pour être reconnaissants, ni assez méchants pour être ingrats ; c’est négligence, c’est lenteur ; débiteurs en retard, non insolvables. Ceux-là je ne les sommerai point, je les avertirai, je les ramènerai au devoir dont d’autres soins les distrayaient ; ils me répondront aussitôt : « Pardon ; en vérité j’ignorais que tu en eusses besoin ; sans quoi je me fusse empressé de te l’offrir. Ne me prends pas, je te prie, pour un ingrat ; je n’ai pas oublié ce que tu as fait pour moi. » Pourquoi donc hésiterais-je à rendre de pareils hommes meilleurs et pour eux et pour moi ? J’empêcherai qui je pourrai de manquer au devoir, et mon ami bien plus qu’un autre, s’il y devait surtout manquer envers moi. Je lui rends un nouveau service si je le sauve de l’ingratitude ; et non point par de durs reproches, mais le plus délicatement possible, pour le laisser maître de s’acquitter, je réveillerai ses souvenirs : je lui demanderai un service : il comprendra de lui-même que je redemande. Parfois j’emploierai une certaine rudesse de paroles, si j’ai l’espoir qu’il puisse s’amender ; car, s’il est incurable, je me garderai par cela même de le tourmenter, et d’un ingrat je ne me ferai pas un ennemi. Sans doute épargner à l’ingrat l’aiguillon des avertissements c’est le rendre plus paresseux encore à s’acquitter. Mais les âmes que l’on peut guérir et ramener au bien, au moindre remords qu’on éveille, devra-t-on les laisser se perdre faute d’une seule représentation qui suffit au père pour corriger le fils, à l’épouse pour rappeler à elle l’époux qui s’égarait, à l’ami pour réchauffer la tiédeur d’un ami ?