On Benefits Chapter 23

Quidam, ut expergiscantur, non feriendi, sed commovendi sunt ; eodem modo quorundam ad referendam gratiam fides non cessat, sed languet. Hanc pervellamus. " Noli munus tuum in iniuriam vertere ; iniuria est enim, si in hoc non repetis, ut ingratus sim. Quid, si ignoro, quid desideres ? Quid, si occupationibus districtus et in aha vocatus occasionem non observavi ? Ostende mihi, quid possim, quid velis. Quare desperes, antequam temptes ? Quare properas et beneficium et amicum perdere ? Unde scis, nolim an ignorem, animus an facultas desit mihi? Experire." Admonebo ergo non amare, non palam, sine convicio, sic, ut se redisse in memoriam, non reduci putet.

To awaken some men, it is only necessary to stir them, not to strike them; in like manner, with some men, the feeling of honour about returning a benefit is not extinct, but slumbering. Let us rouse it. "Do not," they will say, "make the kindness you have done me into a wrong: for it is a wrong, if you do not demand some return from me, and so make me ungrateful. What if I do not know what sort of repayment you wish for? if I am so occupied by business, and my attention is so much diverted to other subjects that I have not been able to watch for an opportunity of serving you? Point out to me what I can do for you, what you wish me to do. Why do you despair, before making a trial of me? Why are you in such haste to lose both your benefit and your friend? How can you tell whether I do not wish, or whether I do not know how to repay you: whether it be in intention or in opportunity that I am wanting? Make a trial of me." I would therefore remind him of what I had done, without bitterness, not in public, or in a reproachful manner, but so that he may think that he himself has remembered it rather than that it has been recalled to him.

Certaines gens pour se réveiller n’ont pas besoin qu’on les frappe, mais qu’on les secoue légèrement ; de même il est des hommes dont la reconnaissance et la foi, sans être éteintes, sont assoupies : il faut les piquer. Que notre don ne soit pas un piège : or c’en est un, si l’on n’évite de redemander que pour que pour faire de moi un ingrat. « Et si j’ignore tes besoins, si d’autres occupations, qui partagent et réclament mes soins, m’ont fait oublier l’occasion ? Montre-moi ce que je puis, ce que tu veux. Pourquoi désespérer avant l’essai ? Pourquoi te hâter de perdre et un bienfait et un ami ? D’où sais-tu si c’est de ma part refus ou ignorance, mauvais vouloir ou manque de moyens ? Mets-moi à l’épreuve. » J’avertirai donc, mais sans amertume, sans éclat, sans reproche ; je ferai en sorte qu’il croie rentrer dans ses souvenirs sans y être rappelé.