Consolation to Marcia Chapter 2

Scio a praeceptis incipere omnis, qui monere aliquem volunt, in exemplis desinere. Mutari hunc interim morem expedit; aliter enim cum alio agendum est. Quosdam ratio ducit, quibusdam nomina clara opponenda sunt et auctoritas, quae liberum non relinquat animum ad speciosa stupenti. Duo tibi ponam ante oculos maxima et sexus et saeculi tui exempla: alterius feminae, quae se tradidit ferendam dolori, alterius, quae pari adfecta casu, maiore damno, non tamen dedit longum in se malis suis dominium, sed cito animum in sedem suam reposuit. Octavia et Livia, altera soror Augusti, altera uxor, amiserant filios iuvenes, utraque spe futuri principis certa. Octavia Marcellum, cui et avunculus et socer incumbere coeperat, in quem onus imperii reclinare, adulescentem animo alacrem, ingenio potentem, sed frugalitatis continentiaeque in illis aut annis aut opibus non mediocriter admirandae, patientem laborum, voluptatibus alienum, quantumcumque imponere illi avunculus et, ut ita dicam, inaedificare voluisset, laturum ; bene legerat nulli cessura ponderi fundamenta. Nullum finem per omne vitae suae tempus flendi gemendique fecit nec ullas admisit voces salutare aliquid adferentis ; ne avocari quidem se passa est, intenta in unam rem et toto animo adfixa. Talis per omnem vitam fuit, qualis in funere, non dico non ausa consurgere, sed adlevari recusans, secundam orbitatem iudicans lacrimas amittere. Nullam habere imaginem filii carissimi voluit, nullam sibi de illo fieri mentionem. Oderat omnes matres et in Liviam maxime furebat, quia videbatur ad illius filium transisse sibi promissa felicitas. Tenebris et solitu- dini familiarissima, ne ad fratrem quidem respiciens, carmina celebrandae Marcelli memoriae composita aliosque studiorum honores reiecit et aures suas adversus omne solacium clusit. A sollemnibus officiis seducta et ipsam magnitudinis fraternae nimis circumlucentem fortunam exosa defodit se et abdidit. Adsidentibus liberis, nepotibus lugubrem vestem non deposuit, non sine contumelia omnium suorum, quibus salvis orba sibi videbatur.

I am aware that all who wish to give any one advice begin with precepts, and end with examples: but it is sometimes useful to alter this fashion, for we must deal differently with different people. Some are guided by reason, others must be confronted with authority and the names of celebrated persons, whose brilliancy dazzles their mind and destroys their power of free judgment. I will place before your eyes two of the greatest examples belonging to your sex and your century: one, that of a woman who allowed herself to be entirely carried away by grief; the other, one who, though afflicted by a like misfortune, and an even greater loss, yet did not allow her sorrows to reign over her for a very long time, but quickly restored her mind to its accustomed frame. Octavia and Livia, the former Augustus’s sister, the latter his wife, both lost their sons when they were young men, and when they were certain of succeeding to the throne. Octavia lost Marcellus, whom both his father-in-law and his uncle had begun to depend upon, and to place upon his shoulders the weight of the empire - a young man of keen intelligence and firm character, frugal and moderate in his desires to an extent which deserved especial admiration in one so young and so wealthy, strong to endure labour, averse to indulgence, and able to bear whatever burden his uncle might choose to lay, or I may say to pile upon his shoulders. Augustus had well chosen him as a foundation, for he would not have given way under any weight, however excessive. His mother never ceased to weep and sob during her whole life, never endured to listen to wholesome advice, never even allowed her thoughts to be diverted from her sorrow. She remained during her whole life just as she was during the funeral, with all the strength of her mind intently fixed upon one subject. I do not say that she lacked the courage to shake off her grief, but she refused to be comforted, thought that it would be a second bereavement to lose her tears, and would not have any portrait of her darling son, nor allow any allusion to be made to him. She hated all mothers, and raged against Livia with especial fury, because it seemed as though the brilliant prospect once in store for her own child was now transferred to Livia’s son. Passing all her days in darkened rooms and alone, not conversing even with her brother, she refused to accept the poems which were composed in memory of Marcellus, and all the other honours paid him by literature, and closed her ears against all consolation. She lived buried and hidden from view, neglecting her accustomed duties, and actually angry with the excessive splendour of her brother’s prosperity, in which she shared. Though surrounded by her children and grandchildren, she would not lay aside her mourning garb, though by retaining it she seemed to put a slight upon all her relations, in thinking herself bereaved in spite of their being alive.

Je sais que toute consolation commence par des préceptes pour finir par des exemples. Il est bon parfois de changer cette méthode : on ne doit pas traiter de même tous les esprits. Les uns cèdent à la raison ; aux autres il faut opposer de grands noms, une autorité qui ne leur laisse plus l’esprit libre, qui les éblouisse et leur impose. Pour vous, je mettrai sous vos yeux deux illustres exemples de votre sexe et de votre époque, une femme qui s’est livrée à tout l’entraînement de sa douleur, une autre qui, frappée par un semblable coup, mais perdant davantage, ne laissa pas toutefois au malheur un long pouvoir sur son âme et sut bien vite la rétablir dans son assiette. Octavie et Livie, l’une sœur, l’autre épouse d’Auguste, avaient toutes deux vu périr un fils à la fleur de l’âge et toutes deux l’espoir légitime qu’il régnerait un jour. Octavie avait perdu Marcellus, gendre et neveu d’un prince qui déjà se reposait sur lui, qui l'allait charger du fardeau de l’empire. Jeune, actif d’esprit, d’un talent plein de vigueur ; et puis d’une tempérance, d’une retenue de mœurs qui à son âge, qui dans son rang méritaient plus qu’une médiocre admiration ; patient dans les travaux, ennemi des voluptés, quelque tâche que lui imposât son oncle, quoi qu’il voulût pour ainsi dire édifier sur Marcellus, Marcellus eût pu y suffire. C’était un digne choix, une. base que rien n’eût fait céder . Tant que sa mère lui survécut, elle ne cessa de pleurer et de gémir, elle ne souffrit aucune parole qui eût pour but de la soulager, ni rien qui pût seulement la distraire. Tout entière à son deuil, absorbée par cette seule pensée, elle fut le reste de sa vie ce qu’on l’avait vue au convoi de son fils, non qu’elle n’osât se relever de son abattement ; mais repoussant ce qui l’y eût aidée, elle croyait perdre deux fois son fils si elle renonçait à ses larmes. Elle ne voulut avoir aucun portrait de cet être tant chéri, ni qu’on parlât jamais de lui devant elle. Elle avait pris en aversion toutes les mères et détestait surtout Livie, dont le fils semblait avoir hérité du bonheur promis au sien. N’aimant que les ténèbres et la solitude, dédaignant jusqu’à son frère, elle refusa les vers faits pour célébrer la mémoire de Marcellus et tout ce que les beaux-arts lui prodiguaient d’hommages ; elle ferma son oreille à toute consolation ; elle se tint en dehors des devoirs les plus ordinaires de la vie ; même la haute fortune de son frère et les trop vifs rayons de sa grandeur la blessaient : elle se fit comme un tombeau de sa retraite. Entourée de ses autres enfants et de ses petits-fils, elle ne déposa plus l’habit de deuil, à la grande mortification de tous les siens, du vivant desquels il lui semblait avoir tout perdu.